WA Perth Kevin Graham

Kevin Graham - A Mature and Caring Celebrant.

I am an older experienced celebrant, with a long career in the defence forces in Australia and overseas behind me, I can honestly say that I have seen a lot of life.

My ability to empathise (perception of another's feelings that involves a close mental connection with them or a sharing of them) and to sympathise (a compassionate feeling towards the problems of other people) has stood me in good stead in my time as a funeral celebrant in Western Australia.

Satisfaction is important in life and while I have enjoyed the satisfaction that comes from conducting a successful and happy wedding, I have found that the satisfaction gained from helping people during a difficult and sorrowful time in their lives is far more rewarding.

To be frank, most of the hundreds of funerals which I have conducted have been for older people and I would feel very challenged if I had to conduct a funeral ceremony for a child or a very young adult. However this is a challenge which I would be prepared to face if it meant easing the burden for the bereaved.

Again, from my life in general and my Army background, I am particularly competent to provide meaningful and relevant words about the person whose funeral I am conducting. I know where to find background information from libraries, archives and the Internet that can be used to assist the family in writing a tribute to their loved one.

All funerals should be "good" to the extent that they help people celebrate the life of the person whom they loved. Bad funerals are often the result when the celebrant is not able to communicate effectively with those who are left behind and the result is a lot of meaningless platitudes. Where possible, and I have done this on a number of occasions when a person is suffering a terminal illness, I like to talk to the person and discuss with them what they would like to have said about them after they have gone. To many people this may seem a bit macabre but for those who have been involved, it has mostly been comforting.

On too many occasions I have attended a funeral that has been conducted by a celebrant or a minister who did not know the deceased person and possibly may only have received a last-minute briefing before the ceremony from the Funeral Director. Inevitably, this results in a meaningless collection of thoughts, verses and prayers that mean little to those who knew the deceased person. To me this is an embarrassment and I think to myself " if only".........

With regard to the range of funeral options that are available, I would generally prefer to leave this to the funeral director to discuss with the family. If I am asked however, I do have access to information that may assist e.g. Funeral Webcasting, Video Albums, Use of Flags and other rituals (RSL and Freemasonry etc).

As stated earlier, I have obtained a lot of satisfaction from funerals which I have conducted over the years. Probably none more so than when I conducted a marriage ceremony for a 91-year-old Second World War veteran. It was a wonderfully happy occasion. Exactly 4 weeks later I conducted his funeral service. At his family's insistence, the funeral was a light-hearted one which highlighted the happiness that he had enjoyed during his lifetime and particularly the last stage of it.

When I check back on the many funerals which I have conducted, I find that there are very few when I did not receive a letter or a card expressing gratitude for the services which I provided.

I am more than happy to discuss these aspects further at any time.

Kevin Graham

Civil Marriage, Family and Funeral Celebrant

All areas of Perth WA

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